But Reshell Wilson isn’t like everybody else.

Having raised six children between them, Wilson and her husband, Freddie Wilson, should be enjoying their empty nest, perhaps vacationing. Instead, they’ve been raising their grandkids, 17-year-old Tashaun and 16-year-old Tamia for the past 11 years.

As kinship caregivers, the Wilsons join a community of individuals and families who provide full-time care to children of close family friends or relatives. Wilson has become an unofficial ambassador for her kinship caregiver support group. Having experienced an arduous process to gain legal custody of the grandkids, she advocates for other relatives trying to do the same.

In 2018, Wilson testified in Olympia about her struggles to become a kinship caregiver.

“It took me a year [to gain custody] because I had to do it by myself, and I didn’t know the process,” Wilson says. “I’m at the courthouse two, three times a week. They’re giving me stuff, and I don’t turn it in the right way or at the right time.”

Wilson’s testimony to state lawmakers helped win passage of Senate Bill 5651 in 2019. The law created a kinship care legal aid coordinator in the Office of Civil Legal Aid to walk kin through the legal custody process to become kinship caregivers. Two years later, Senate Bill 5151 gave the Department of Children, Youth, & Families go-ahead to expedite the process for kin to become licensed foster parents, and access financial assistance, legal guidance, education support and other benefits available to unrelated foster parents.

Seeing the grandkids with their daughter, who struggled with drugs, alcohol, and schizophrenia — or with strangers — was not an option for the Wilsons. That same stance leads many grandparents or relatives to become kinship caregivers.

However, the decision often requires sacrifices. Money that the Wilsons had saved for retirement went toward buying a new house that would fit the grandkids.

“We were almost $100,000 from paying our old house off, and now we’re about $400,000 in the hole at 60 years old,” Wilson says. “We had to change a lot in our lives.”

The couple has been together since 2003, married since 2016, and have never been on a vacation together. They provided care for Tashaun and Tamia off and on — sometimes weeks or months at a time since both were babies — as their mother struggled with substance abuse. When the kids were younger, their day care often called Reshell at work, asking her to pick up her grandkids due to
behavior issues. Yet her supervisors and co-workers were gracious and supportive, even donating clothes, diapers, and milk for the babies.

“It was really hard,” Wilson recalls. “It wasn’t an easy thing to be parents a second time around.” To make sure their own cups are full, the Wilsons have been part of a marriage-centered church group for the past 20 years. During monthly meetings, the couples discuss marital issues and process them as a group. They also participate in Atlantic Street Center’s Kinship Care Support Group, which is both a resource and source of community for kinship caregivers.

Last year, the family mourned the death of Freddie’s daughter, which triggered destructive behaviors from the grandkids. The couple had to navigate new territory in validating the kids’ pain and anger while discouraging negative behavior. Reshell cites the kinship group as a fount of support, hand-holding, and encouragement by other caregivers who had addressed similar circumstances.

“I truly believe things happen for a reason,” Wilson says. “Whether we liked it or not, the kids needed us, and to have enough love for a little person to change your entire life, to take them in and raise them as yours — I don’t think anyone can do it better. It’s a strong lifetime commitment, and the joy comes when you can smile, they can make you smile, and you can have good times.”

Nonetheless, Wilson jokes, “I foresee them being with me until midnight when they turn 18. I’m, like, ‘You gotta be working or in college, because Papa and I — we’re ready to travel.’”

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Martinez attended school in Bellevue and started receiving assistance from foster support organizations like Seattle-based Treehouse and the DCYF Independent Living Program. When he turned 18, Martinez moved in with a partner and her family and remained in extended foster care until he aged out of the system at 21.

Today, Martinez is a freelance audiovisual tech and works part-time as a mentor with Route 21. The program connects former foster youth with current youth in care. He is determined to spread the word about the programs that have shaped him—including giving a talk at a  Las Vegas educators conference advocating for nationwide replication of the LifeSet program’s comprehensive support for foster kids beyond age 18.

We asked Martinez about his experience as a foster child. Here’s part of that conversation:

Seattle’s Child (SC): How did being a foster youth shape who you are?

Kyle Martinez: When I first started high school, I didn’t really imagine myself doing a whole lot. It wasn’t until there were people in my life who asked about my academics and goals and encouraged me that I felt I had any sense of capability.

A small example was when I was in elementary and middle school, I played a snowboarding game called SSX Tricky, but I never saw it as a possibility for me to go snowboarding. I didn’t know anyone who snowboarded. My foster dad taught me to be frugal enough to find [equipment], and then Treehouse covered a season pass. It’s not even about making my dreams come true, but more like encouraging me to have a dream in the first place.

Tell us about your work with Route 21  

The idea is we’re with [our mentees] until they’re 21 and potentially beyond that. I get to help in this person’s life and model a lot of things. So I’d say being in foster care taught me to dream and it also inspired me to be the one to inspire the next generation of foster youth.

Were there other positive fostering experiences?

There were a lot of great things about living with my sister and her husband, but also kind of hard things. They really tried to be present in a lot of ways, but there were a lot of things I just had to do for myself. I had to get around on my own. In my late teens, I had to be very independent and learn how to deal with all my own paperwork and learn how to cut through red tape, specifically being in foster care and working with the state.

One of the biggest things that my foster dad taught me was to utilize my resources to get things for free. There was a wide bank of resources and he encouraged me to seek them out. I asked for tutors when I was struggling in my classes. I figured out what sort of scholarship programs there were at my school. [Now] I’m really good at searching for things. I’m really a stickler for getting stuff used or free.

You also connected with an organization called Juma, offering foster youth employment and skill-building opportunities. Tell us about it.

It was my first job, my first experience with making money. The program required us to take financial literacy training, so I learned about credit and the difference between banks and credit unions and different types of financial accounts. We also did a lot of workshops around credit, mock interviews, how to make a resume, and how to build a LinkedIn account.

I was really spoiled by that program because I had employers that really cared about me and taught me my rights as an employee. A lot of people don’t get that at their first job, specifically learning about your rights and encouraging you to stand up for those.

Juma filled the hole in my education that high school should have fulfilled. I have a really rounded education on how to survive as an adult because of Juma.

What advice would you give someone in foster care?

There are so many services and programs, especially for people in Washington state and even more so in King County. So definitely find resources and get in contact with an adult who can inspire you to dream and can help serve you for whatever your dreams are.

The post Paying It Forward: A former foster youth gives back appeared first on Seattle's Child.

_________________________________________________________

Dawn Rains is the Chief Policy & Strategy Officer at Treehouse. (Image courtesy Treehouse)

This month, I am proud to celebrate 16 years at Treehouse, years built on passion originally ignited by my experience as a foster parent. During that experience, I was profoundly struck by a foster care system that didn’t really work for anyone — not the children and youth it’s meant to protect, not the parents struggling to do better, the foster parents and relative caregivers trying to provide stability, or the case workers stretched to their limits. That experience made me realize this was the work that my heart wanted to do.

This morning, nearly 5,000 children across our state woke up in foster care. When Child Protective Services intervened, likely at school — most never saw that school again. They left behind their favorite clothing, treasured belongings, and their sense of stability. Many are wondering when or whether they’ll see their mom or siblings again. For some, this is their first foster care placement; for others, it’s their tenth.

Imagine being a young person navigating school amidst that kind of transition, trauma, and loss. Many are forced to change schools when they enter foster care. They leave behind trusted teachers, counselors, and coaches — the very people who might have helped them cope. They become the “new kid” once again. Records take weeks to transfer, delaying needed special education services. They miss out on extracurriculars because they weren’t there for tryouts. When court dates or therapy sessions interrupt their learning, they fall further behind. And when their trauma manifests into challenging classroom behavior, they are often suspended or expelled. This all sends the message that school is not a place for them.

We know that when youth in foster care do not graduate from high school, the impact can be devastating: poverty, homelessness, and/or incarceration. That’s where Treehouse steps in. We provide critical support to help youth in foster care feel included and empowered in school. By supplying clothing, shoes, and school supplies, youth can show up feeling confident. Treehouse funds extracurricular and school activities so foster youth can experience the joy of being on a team, participating in a club, or performing on stage, leading to foundational relationships with peers and adult role models.

Treehouse educational advocates work with caregivers, caseworkers, and educators to ensure school records are transferred, educational testing is conducted, and exclusionary discipline is minimized. Treehouse education coaches work directly with 8th to 12th graders to provide the educational stability and encouragement they need to stay on track to graduate and plan for the future.

These direct interventions, anchored by human connection, are essential to changing the educational trajectory of foster youth, but without changes to the education and foster care systems themselves, our students will continue to face barriers.

Thanks to Treehouse’s leadership and advocacy, Washington state now has some of the strongest laws in the country addressing the educational needs of foster youth. Today, both the foster care and education systems share responsibility for ensuring these students’ stability and success. But laws alone do not change lives.

Our role at Treehouse is to create conditions for foster youth to thrive in school and in life, on their own terms. In 2023, we announced that Treehouse would expand our programs to serve every student in foster care in every corner of our state. More young people than ever need us in their corner, but we cannot do this alone. Sixty percent of our budget comes from our communities — from people like you. Even as critical government funding is at risk, we are stretching to keep up with the demand, and we need your help.

Colleagues in other states often tell me, “I wish we had a Treehouse.” The truth is, Treehouse is one-of-a-kind. We are the only organization in the country providing this breadth of educational and support services at this scale and effectiveness. We are only able to do so because of our community. Together, we form the village that youth in foster care so desperately need.

Our mission is simple but powerful: to create opportunities for foster youth to thrive. Our vision is a future where every young person impacted by foster care has what they need to determine their own path and build the life of their dreams. But we can’t achieve this vision alone.

Be the village that foster youth deserve. They are counting on us.

This article is one piece of our special series on foster and kinship care, highlighting the voices and experiences of foster youth, caregivers, and communities supporting them. Explore the full series to read more of these important stories. 

Unsung Heroes: Caring for kids who aren’t their own | Across Washington, tens of thousands of kids are being raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives — often without formal foster care support. As the state prioritizes keeping families together, kinship caregivers are filling the gap, frequently at great personal cost. Explore how policy shifts, community programs, and grassroots resilience are changing the face of caregiving and the future for these children.

How we became licensed foster parents in Washington | One family’s year-long journey to become a licensed foster parent — filled with paperwork, training, and plenty of heart — offers a firsthand look at the process. From orientation to their first placement, their story sheds light on the realities of stepping into foster care.

Paying It Forward: A former foster youth gives back | Kyle Martinez grew up in the foster care system, unsure of what his future might hold. Today, he’s using that experience to uplift others — mentoring youth in care and speaking out for stronger support systems. His journey from uncertainty to advocacy shows the impact one person can make when given the tools to thrive.

The post Treehouse builds brighter futures for foster kids in Washington appeared first on Seattle's Child.

Amy Baker of south Seattle loves being the fun auntie. When kids visit, they can expect to make pancakes and cookies and create with Play-Doh. What differentiates her from most aunties is that the children who stay with her are in the foster care system — and kids stay with Baker only briefly.

As a respite caregiver, Baker supports full-time foster parents when they need a break — whether they want a breather at home or need a more extended vacation to  refresh their compassionate parenting stores.

In 2017, Baker was fully licensed as a foster parent through City Ministries Child Placement Agency (CMCPA). Because she’s licensed, she is able to give other foster parents the flexibility to be off the grid while she has their kids. “They can turn off their cell phones, they can go camping, and I am fully responsible for the child,” Baker says. Families and respite providers can access a joint calendar for easy scheduling of respite care days.

Balancing work and respite

Baker has had about 80 respite visits over the past eight years, caring for a total of 11 kids. Two of them were twin 9-year-olds when they first stayed with her; today, they are 17. The twins were eventually adopted, but they still spend time with Auntie Amy. On rare occasions, she might care for kids for a week or two. But more commonly, kids stay for a weekend, accommodating her weekday job as an accountant.

“Overall, it’s been very rewarding for me,” Baker says. “I haven’t had the typical challenges that a lot of people expect, like major behavior issues or kids trying to run away. When you work with a child placement agency, they know you, and they know what you can handle and what your training is.”

Creating a fun and safe haven

Through questionnaires completed by foster parents, Baker learns about the children’s needs, routines, food preferences, and interests. Respite caregivers also undergo extensive training during the licensing process — and through ongoing education — that emphasizes building empathy and understanding behavioral issues related to abuse, trauma, and being in environments with substance abuse. Baker says she’s learned to look past surface behaviors to identify underlying root problems. As the fun auntie, Baker says she doesn’t have to enforce a routine like a full-time parent would. However, she is attentive to nighttime routines or fears, especially when a child stays with her for the first time. Otherwise, she wants the children to have fun, feel safe and comfortable, and look forward to returning. Dedicated playtime and creating traditions so kids know what to expect and be excited about help to bring that goal to fruition.

“I want it to be something that will provide the foster family support so they don’t feel guilty,” Baker explains. “I think there’s a lot of guilt with needing a break from a kid, so I want the kids to look forward to coming to my house, so it’s a positive thing for everyone.”

Several children have recently told Baker how grateful they are that she sits on the floor and plays with Lego bricks or Play-Doh with them. “It’s surprising and really cool that it really doesn’t take much,” Baker says. “[Spending time together] can be pretty simple, and the kids have a great time.”

A seed planted for future caregiving

Baker remembers her parents trying to adopt when she was a child. Even though that fell through, a seed was planted in Baker’s mind to consider caring for a non-related child in her future. As an adult, she worked with children at church and spent many days and nights supporting her best friend, a single mom with 4-year-old twins. The seed began sprouting when her church, founded by CMCPA, asked for volunteers to work with foster kids. She began assisting at events, like monthly craft sessions. She also helped with landscaping at the Rose Hill Cottages, a neighborhood developed through donations from Baker’s church to provide affordable housing for foster parents. Baker began building relationships with foster families and became familiar with respite caregiving.

“It was really helpful to ease into it,” Baker says, adding that she volunteered with the agency for three years before becoming licensed. “All those things contributed to helping me be more comfortable around kids and be willing to provide respite care for all ages, including for babies and toddlers. That all just kind of made [respite caregiving] a doable situation.”

Treehouse builds brighter futures for foster kids in Washington | What happens when foster youth are met not with barriers, but with opportunity and support? Treehouse has spent decades answering that question — and changing lives in the process. As this one-of-a-kind program faces major funding cuts, its mission has never been more urgent.

How we became licensed foster parents in Washington | One family’s year-long journey to become a licensed foster parent — filled with paperwork, training, and plenty of heart — offers a firsthand look at the process. From orientation to their first placement, their story sheds light on the realities of stepping into foster care.

Paying It Forward: A former foster youth gives back | Kyle Martinez grew up in the foster care system, unsure of what his future might hold. Today, he’s using that experience to uplift others — mentoring youth in care and speaking out for stronger support systems. His journey from uncertainty to advocacy shows the impact one person can make when given the tools to thrive.

The post Understanding respite care for foster parents appeared first on Seattle's Child.

We began by choosing to work with Olive Crest, one of many child placing agencies (CPAs) authorized to license foster families in Washington. We chose a CPA — rather than getting licensed through the Washington Department
for Children, Youth & Families — for several reasons:

• Olive Crest would provide wrap-around support from the beginning of the licensing process until we decided to end our foster care story.
• We feared facing the foster care “rollercoaster” without experienced guides committed to seeing us thrive as foster parents.
• We wanted partners in our journey who understood our motives and convictions.

Here’s the process we went through to become a licensed foster home:

Step 1 – Forms

We received a welcome email from Olive Crest containing seven forms, including a home study application, a financial
worksheet, and a statement of faith unique to Olive Crest, a faith-based organization. As we slowly completed those forms, we attended a Foster 101 Orientation. The two-hour zoom presentation provided a broad sense of what it meant to be a foster family.

Step 2 – Training

This step was probably the most demanding. We set aside two weekends for Caregiver Core Training. In 24 hours over four days, we were flooded with all the ins and outs of life as foster parents. We covered procedures, culture, communication, state requirements, and available resources. There were testimonials, videos, role-playing, and case studies. Time and again throughout these days we were assured that we weren’t expected to remember everything.  That made me feel better.

Over the next several months we did more paperwork and completed things like CPR training, background checks, and medical reports. There were also online, self-guided trainings we needed to finish.

Step 3 – Home study

Three months after core training, the person who would write our home study contacted us and scheduled two meetings, one in our home and the other online. Her job was to complete an assessment of our family and our suitability to be foster parents. She interviewed each member of the family individually and then my wife and me together. We discussed our family culture and history. We explained our philosophies on discipline and finances, among other things. We reflected on our childhoods and how our parents raised us. We talked about our faith and how it influences our choices.

Step 4 – Home inspection

As we waited for our application to be sent to and processed by the state, we scheduled our final home inspection. The checklist included things like smoke alarms, outlet covers, and medication securely stored.

Step 5 – Waiting

We got the news of our licensing approval at the end of March 2023. We had finally reached the finish line of our year-long marathon. About a week later we said “yes” to our first placement. We’ve been fostering for two years now. Our licensing journey seems ages ago. But when we think of the children placed in our home, jumping through all the hoops was worth it.

The post How we became licensed foster parents in Washington appeared first on Seattle's Child.

“If she knew it was your birthday, she’d throw a tantrum and ruin it for you,” says Granite Falls foster mom Jennifer Christensen, who also has three biological children between 15 and 21. “I thought, wow, it’s really strange that she’s never noticed that nobody has birthdays but her.”

Those early years are still vivid for Christensen as she remembers Anna’s shocking and destructive behaviors that began within an hour of welcoming her home in 2019. But she also equally emphasizes the progress her foster daughter has made since then with her behavioral challenges, largely due to Christensen’s compassion, patience, and grit in finding vital resources for Anna. Today, the Christensens are in the process of adopting Anna.

Struggling through the pandemic

The discreet birthday celebrations are just one of the adaptations the Christensens have made since Anna joined the family. Shortly after Anna’s arrival, COVID shut the world down. This forced Christensen, a preschool teacher, to teach online while also helping her kids navigate virtual schooling. Also, says Christensen, “I’m trapped in a house with somebody who’s violent towards me.

“It was traumatic and challenging … but it really was the best thing for [Anna] because once we got a schedule and figured stuff out, for the first time, she had solid consistency,” she adds. “With her, the tighter the reins, the safer she feels.”

While the older kids attempted to navigate online learning, their foster sister’s behavioral challenges often looked like throwing tantrums lasting for seven hours. In a small house, the disruption was hard to ignore. Yet the older kids pitched in to help, especially while Christensen’s husband worked nights.

“One kid would be writing down every word she said during her tantrums to try to figure out [what she wanted], and another would be marking down the anteceding behavior,” Christensen says, explaining the family’s efforts to understand what Anna needed. “We would take turns listening to her scream.”

Searching for solutions

Although Anna’s behavior improved at home, she was aggressive with peers and her paraeducator at school and required a private room when she had meltdowns. She ripped out the carpet and painted the room with blood. Christensen worked hard with the school district to send her foster daughter Anna to the Academy for Precision Learning, a K-12 school in Seattle for neurodivergent students, which has transformed Anna’s behavioral challenges at school and at home.

“She’s like a totally different kid,” Christensen says. “I do feel like there’s hope now, whereas for five years, I was like, what am I doing? Getting her out of the district that I’m working in and into a place that is set up for a child like her really changed her life. Now we’re going through puberty, though.”

Even with Anna’s growth, she still needs certain accommodations. To keep Anna from destroying the carpet, the Christensens’ house now has laminate flooring. Her room is minimally furnished, with furniture bolted to the floors or walls so she can’t wield them as weapons.

Alarms on her window and door keep her from getting out unnoticed, since she tries to escape when she gets into a foul mood.

“At first, I was very sad when we had to take stuff out of the room,” Christensen says. “I just wanted her to have a normal room. Her Court Appointed Special Advocate said, ‘Don’t feel bad because it doesn’t look like what other kids need. She needs simple because it hurts her brain.’ It took me a long time to come to terms that her life is going to be very different from my other three.”

Prior to the Christensens, Anna bounced around to six other families. The Christensens are committed to becoming her forever family. Today, the Christensens are in the process of adopting Anna.

The post Committed to making a forever home for their foster child appeared first on Seattle's Child.

The Lows adopted their eldest, 14-year-old Micah, when he was 2 weeks old after about three years of trying to conceive. The plan to adopt a second child was interrupted by surprise pregnancies — first with Delanie, now 12, and then Owen, now 8. Even then, fostering was on their radar.

They moved from California to Edmonds in 2021 to be closer to Jason’s brother and his family. A lower cost of living and competitive pay for teachers in the area allowed Jason to leave his job as a youth pastor to be a stay-at-home dad while Abby continued her work as a special education teacher.

Jason’s ability to stay home has helped the family better meet the demands of fostering.

“If we were both working, I think we might have quit [fostering] already,” Jason says.

A season of change

The family’s first placement was 1-month-old Alex, now 2. The first week was a haze of feedings, diaper changes, and interrupted sleep. Jason fielded endless phone calls scheduling medical appointments, social worker visits, and check-ins with Olive Crest, the agency that arranged the foster placement. (Note: To protect children’s privacy we are not using their real names in this article).

After 7 ½ months with the Lows, Alex went back to his mom, freeing the Lows up to receive Paul, now 3. But six months later, Alex returned to the Lows, where he and Paul have been since June 2024.

“I can’t count how many times people have said to us, ‘I could never do it,’ meaning the emotional rollercoaster of loving a child as your own and then having to say goodbye,” Jason says. “I think of the emotional and spiritual suffering that [Jesus] endured for our sake, and I think we see it similarly, where we’re carrying a lot of the burdens and trauma that [the kids] suffered. We’re not necessarily trying to cushion them from it, but love them in the midst of their trauma.

“Their story might end really poorly … and we may feel it’s unjust and makes us angry,” Jason adds, “but my faith will be what has to carry me through that.”

Fostering support and generosity

Strong connections with family, neighbors, their church, and respite care families have given the Lows an invaluable village. This is essential as they tend to Alex’s medical conditions that require daily support and many doctor appointments, and Paul’s behavioral and emotional issues.

Balancing the older kids’ needs is also an ongoing challenge.

Occasionally, one parent will stay home with napping littles, while the other takes the older kids out. At home, the foster kids mostly spend time upstairs where their bedrooms and common areas are, while the older ones can retreat to their space downstairs.

Yet even with this tension of multiple needs, the Lows’ children have fully embraced the toddlers.

“Whenever I need help, and if Jason is gone, Micah is like, ‘I got you, mom,’” Abby says. “It warms my heart because I know they annoy him, and he doesn’t get to do the things that he wants to do.”

Owen says while the littles’ activity level is frustrating, he enjoys always having someone to play with. Micah has similar sentiments. “When they cry and have tantrums, it’s a bit much. But they’re cool, they’re fun,” he says.

When asked about advice for other foster families, Delanie is quick to respond, “Be patient because [the kids] have been through a lot, and they’re in a new environment — and they don’t know very much, especially if they’re younger.”

Jason said most days require a team effort because of the toddlers’ immense needs.

“But all three of our kids have seen the need and joined the effort,” he says. “If our kids get to adulthood and look back on this experience, and it has helped them to be more selfless, that’s one of the things we really want from this.”

This article is one piece of our special series on foster and kinship care, highlighting the voices and experiences of foster youth, caregivers, and communities supporting them. Explore the full series to read more of these important stories. 

Unsung Heroes: Caring for kids who aren’t their own | Across Washington, tens of thousands of kids are being raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives — often without formal foster care support. As the state prioritizes keeping families together, kinship caregivers are filling the gap, frequently at great personal cost. Explore how policy shifts, community programs, and grassroots resilience are changing the face of caregiving and the future for these children.

Treehouse builds brighter futures for foster kids in Washington | What happens when foster youth are met not with barriers, but with opportunity and support? Treehouse has spent decades answering that question — and changing lives in the process. As this one-of-a-kind program faces major funding cuts, its mission has never been more urgent.

Paying It Forward: A former foster youth gives back | Kyle Martinez grew up in the foster care system, unsure of what his future might hold. Today, he’s using that experience to uplift others — mentoring youth in care and speaking out for stronger support systems. His journey from uncertainty to advocacy shows the impact one person can make when given the tools to thrive.

How we became licensed foster parents in Washington | One family’s year-long journey to become a licensed foster parent — filled with paperwork, training, and plenty of heart — offers a firsthand look at the process. From orientation to their first placement, their story sheds light on the realities of stepping into foster care.

The post How faith and family lead the Lows to foster parenting appeared first on Seattle's Child.

About 5,000 of those kids are in the state foster care system. The rest (approximately 45,000 kids across the state) are living with grandparents or other kinship, says Barb Taylor of Catholic Community Services of Western Washington Kinship Services.

“We hear the story over and over: My grandchild came to stay with me for what I thought would be a month, and now it’s been five years,” says Taylor, who is also coordinator of the King County Kinship Collaboration. “It’s clear to them that it’s a permanent situation.”

Nonprofits like Catholic Community Services help informal kinship families navigate their increased costs by providing emergency financial support, food, clothing, or transportation assistance among other things.

A positive change

Less than two years ago, in 2023, 92,000 reports of suspected child abuse or neglect were reported in Washington state, nearly the same number reported in 2018.

And yet, since the state’s Department of Children, Youth & Families (DCYF), was established in 2017, the number of kids in state-supervised foster care has dramatically dropped— from 9,171 in 2018 to 4,971 in 2024, the lowest number since the 1980s.

The difference? A shift in policy and approach, say state child welfare officials.

Keeping families together

Rather than jumping first to removing kids from parents struggling to provide safe homes, DCYF’s mission has been to give parents the support they need to prevent conditions that lead to abuse and neglect. Those conditions include poverty, unemployment, lack of education, substance abuse, mental health issues, domestic violence, a history of abuse, and family stress.

When a child must be removed from their parents, DCYF has redoubled the state’s efforts to place them in the care of a relative (called kinship care) rather than with unrelated foster parents. About half of kids in the foster care system live with relatives, some of whom have gone through the foster home licensing process, though most have not.

State child welfare officials say another factor has also contributed to the lower foster care census: The 2021 passage of Washington’s Keeping Families Together Act, which states that homelessness, disability, and poverty are not reasons to take children away from their parents.
Fewer children in state care “demonstrates our agency’s commitment to keeping families together and children and youth safe,” DCYF Secretary Ross Hunter said in 2024.

The options when a child can’t live with their parents

There are differences between foster parents, kinship caregivers appointed by the state, and relatives who step up to care for kids on an informal basis.

Foster homes and foster parents are licensed by the state after the adult caregivers undergo a rigorous application process and background check, and the home itself is given a safety review by state child welfare workers.

Children placed in a foster home are not related to the foster parents (unless they are kinship caregivers who decided to go through the foster care licensing process). As of January 1, 2024, foster parents receive between $722 and $860 per month to help defray the costs of caring for a child, a payment that increases based on a child’s developmental, mental health, or chronic health needs. Some relatives (called kinship caregivers) who take in children through the state child welfare system choose to license as foster parents as well. If they do so, they receive all the same benefits of unrelated foster parents.

Support for foster homes include: information and referral to services, case management, paid family leave, compensation for damages caused by a foster child and support in adopting a child.

Kinship caregivers who are not licensed as foster parents but appointed by the state still receive case management and support in adopting a child, but financial support generally stops at a “non-needy” TANF grant based on the child’s income of $450 per month for one child and an additional $120 per month for a second child.

Respite caregivers are foster parents who offer time-limited, temporary care of kids so that their longterm foster caregivers can take a break for personal or professional reasons. As licensed foster parents, respite caregivers take on the full responsibility of a foster parent for the short time kids are in their home.

Informal kinship caregivers

Informal kinship caregivers take in a child without the child welfare system placing them in the home. Informal kinship caregivers can apply for TANF child-only as well as Apple Health (Medicaid) for the relative children in their home.

Nonprofits like Catholic Community Services and Legal Advice and Referral for Kinship Care (LAARK) help fill in the support gaps for such families by offering legal support or emergency financial support, for example, one-time help with rent or utilities to prevent eviction or shut-off. They also help struggling families meet their basic needs with food, clothing, or transportation assistance. Such nonprofits may also provide tutoring, school uniforms and supplies, field trip fees, band instruments, and sports and youth activities registrations and fees.

Informal kinship caregivers may also be eligible for urgent needs from the state’s Kinship Caregiver Support Program (KCSP). Information, referrals, case coordination and management, and peer-to-peer support is also available through Washington State’s Kinship Navigator Program, run by staff at the Aging and Long-Term Support Administration (ALTSA).

Averages and outcomes

As of 2023, the average age of a foster child in Washington is 8 years old, while their average time in the foster care system is about 20 months, according to Adopt US Kids. Within three years of entering foster care, approximately 57% of children are reunited with their parents; 16% are adopted; 5% are placed with a guardian; 3% become emancipated; and 16% remain in foster care. Approximately a third of Washington youth who have spent time in foster care experience homelessness by the time they turn 21.

In 2002, respondents reported an average of 5.8 years of kinship caregiving, while in 2020 participants reported an average of 6.71 years. In 2002, respondents reported an average age of 9.5 for the children in their care, while those in 2020 reported an average age of 12.8. Outcomes for children in the care of relatives are better, likely due to the stability offered by relative care.

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The crisis unfolding in our communities

The reality facing undocumented families in King County is stark and increasingly dangerous. Washington is home to approximately 234,000 undocumented parents, 17,000 of whom reside with at least one non-U.S. citizen child. These families now live in constant fear, with children afraid to go to school, parents afraid to seek medical care, and entire communities retreating into the shadows.

Since President Trump’s inauguration, WAISN has received a threefold increase in calls to our Deportation Defense Hotline. Families contact us in crisis, reporting Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents at their doors and loved ones disappeared into detention facilities. The executive orders authorizing “expedited removal” of immigrants and permitting arrests in previously protected spaces like churches and schools have shattered what little security our communities had managed to build.

It’s critical to understand what children in immigrant families are experiencing. Children of all ages are exhibiting symptoms of severe trauma: nightmares, anxiety, and withdrawal from social activities. Some are taking on adult responsibilities, such as acting as translators and navigators for their families through complex legal systems and even developing contingency plans for who will care for them if their parents disappear. Children cannot learn or thrive when they’re consumed by fear for their family’s survival.

I recently spoke with a mother of three in King County whose husband was detained during a workplace detention. Her youngest child, just five years old, now refuses to let her leave for work, clinging to her legs and crying that “the bad people might take you too.”

This is not simply an immigration enforcement strategy — it is a systematic assault on human dignity. We must forcefully reject any narrative that frames migration as invasion and immigrants as criminals. Instead, we must recognize and uplift our truth that migration is a human right and immigrants are bearers of knowledge, resilience, and community wisdom.

A call to action for Seattle parents

At WAISN, we are responding to this crisis through collective care and community power. Our Deportation Defense Hotline provides emergency support, legal referrals, and rapid response coordination when ICE is conducting operations, and our Fair Fight Bond Fund assists Washington immigrants in detention. Perhaps most importantly, we are creating spaces of mutual aid and solidarity where immigrant communities can gather in safety, share resources, and build collective power.

I invite you to consider how you might stand in solidarity with immigrant families in your community. Here are concrete ways to help:

• Talk to your children: Help them understand what their immigrant peers might be experiencing and how to be supportive friends.
• Advocate for stronger state policies: Contact your representatives to support the Keep Washington Working Act and other legislation that protects immigrant communities.
• Join our rapid response networks: Community witnesses provide crucial support to families during immigration enforcement actions.
• Attend our upcoming Know Your Rights with ICE virtual training on Thursday, May 8, at 6–8 p.m. and consider hosting a watch party. Register at shorturl.at/QCl7j
• Support WAISN’s work financially: Our Deportation Defense Hotline and Fair Fight Bond Fund operate entirely on donations. Even small monthly contributions sustain these vital services.
• Contact WAISN to report immigration activity Monday to Friday from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. through the WAISN Deportation Defense at 1-844-
  724-3737.

Our work is about creating a courageous, nurturing world where families can remain together in dignity, and where all children can grow
up without fear. Join us in making that vision real.

This article is an opinion piece (Op-Ed) and reflects the views of the author. We encourage thoughtful debate and welcome a range of viewpoints. Readers who wish to submit their own Op-Ed for consideration can do so by emailing editor@seattleschild.com.

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There was a youth soccer game in progress on the field in the middle of the track and a couple of little boys were tussling on the sidelines. At first, I thought they were fighting, but as I got closer it became clear that what I had mistaken for cries of distress were actually squeals of delight. They couldn’t have been much older than three, yet apparently they had just invented the funnest game in the history of funness. It went something like this:

Step 1: Grab your friend in a tight bear hug.
Step 2: Wiggle around in a random and increasingly violent fashion, while maintaining your embrace and screaming at the top of your lungs.
Step 3: Lose your balance and tumble to the ground, laughing hysterically.
Step 4: Take the minimum amount of time necessary to catch your breath, then spring back to your feet.
Step 5: Repeat.

I had to stop my run just to watch them. Seldom have I seen such exuberant, inextinguishable glee emanating from another human being — much less two. I can’t recall any personal experience, at least not with my fading middle-aged memory, that has even come close. And when I look at my life right now, it feels like a Soviet-era documentary compared to the bliss-riot that was unfolding on that field right before my eyes.

It led me to one undeniable conclusion: grown-ups are bad at play.

What passes for play in adults is kind of sad. Not that there’s anything wrong with book groups, or dinner parties, or fantasy football leagues. They all have their place. It’s just that real play — the kind two little boys make up while they’re not watching their older brothers play soccer, is so much more impressive.

Let’s consider the true genius of the “Hug-Wiggle-Plop” game. First of all, it’s entirely original. There’s nothing like novelty to amp up the dopamine hit in any activity. Also, it’s accessible to everyone. You don’t have to buy an Xbox or a PlayStation. You don’t have to pay a registration fee. You don’t need private lessons, or a new set of expensive gear that you’re going to outgrow in three months. All you need is a willing co-wiggler and a landing surface a little softer than concrete.

Another advantage is that it doesn’t have to be entered into your calendar with precisely predetermined start and end times. You just do it when you feel like it, and you stop when you run out of wiggle.

So let’s review: it’s cheap, it’s inclusive, it’s social, it’s creative, and it’s spontaneous. And, oh yeah — it’s really, really, really fun!

I’ve heard so many parents complain that kids don’t seem to just play anymore. Well, who’s bleeping fault do you think that is? Who’s signing them up for day camps and summer classes and after-school programs? Who’s planning out their play dates, and scheduling their activities down to the nearest quarter of an hour? Who’s making kids’ lives look more and more like grown-ups’ lives, and kid activities look more and more like grown-up pastimes? Somehow, I don’t think it’s the kids.

Maybe it’s time we put play back into the hands of the real experts. As a matter of fact, maybe we should consider hiring them as consultants. For your next corporate retreat, why not bring in the groundbreaking design team behind “Hug-Wiggle-Plop?” Can’t you just imagine them working with Harold in sales, or Janice in accounting?

“Okay, can you explain the wiggle part again?”
“You just wiggle — like this.”
“Like this?”
“Yeah. But don’t make that face.”
“What face?”
“That face.”
“This is the only face I know how to make.”
“Okay. Then just wiggle more.”

I predict Q3 earnings would skyrocket.

On the other hand, I’m not sure I want to adulterate kids’ play with, you know, adults. Maybe the best thing would be to just leave them alone. Put them out in the sunshine, on a grassy field, and make believe you aren’t watching them. But pay attention. They know things we forgot a long time ago, and if we give them the time and the freedom to do what they do best, they’ll show us the way.

More Dad Next Door columns can be found here. 

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