Brea Starmer is founder and CEO of Lions & Tigers, a consulting firm that pairs highly experienced marketing, communications, operations and other specialists with clients that need those high-level skills. Starmer success lies in her use of a flexible workforce model where part-time and full-time consultants and freelancers work mostly from home or other remote locations.

It’s an innovative model — one Starmer conceived as a way to balance her consulting passion with another leadership position she concurrently holds and lists under her LinkedIn work experience:

• Mother
• Starmer Family
• Jan 2016 to Present / 9 yrs
• Mother to three beautiful, wild, curious kids

Like Starmer, many of the people who work at Lions & Tigers are parents who want flexible hours to make work and work-life balance possible.

A big Aha!

Nine years ago, Starmer found herself jobless after a round of mass layoffs.

“I was on the phone that afternoon,” she says, assuming her next step would be a senior role somewhere else. After all, she had a long history as a high achiever in life and work. But there was a catch. Starmer was seven months pregnant and says she “grossly misunderstood what pregnancy discrimination would look like.”

After two dozen applications, Starmer wasn’t getting hired. With a baby on the way, her situation felt precarious. Starmer realized she had to shift her pitch: “Will you at least hire me on as freelance?” “I got three yeses,” she recalls.

During her third trimester, Starmer billed 60 hours a week in an effort to self-fund her own maternity leave, since Washington offered no family leave benefits at the time.

Then came Lions & Tigers

After giving birth to her son, Starmer wanted to work at a different pace even as she craved the challenging, high-level projects that had built her consulting career. So she hired a part-time nanny and signed a part-time consulting contract rather than return to full-time work. She remembers thinking, “This is awesome. I can be present in both. I felt this ideal state of work.”

The next lightbulb went off as she was posting on Facebook for baby sleep advice. When moms showed up en masse with suggestions for pacifiers and sleep schedules, Starmer says she had a revelation: “How much better would our workplaces be if we had that intrinsic caring, nurturing thoughtfulness that comes with motherhood applied to business strategy?”

“I was used to hiring consulting and staffing providers for very specific business needs,” Starmer says. “Everything was transactional, which felt unnatural and lacking for me. Because so many of us at Lions & Tigers are caregivers, we are used to ensuring people are cared for now and planning for what’s next.”

We want that too

Friends who were mothers started asking Starmer how she’d landed on a sweet spot by doing freelance work. Starmer says, “it just really hit me that if I could figure out this path, I could provide that to others. I knew that I wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I didn’t have a purpose until I was a mother,” Starmer adds. “It’s given me leadership values that are different from how businesses are traditionally run.”

By way of example, Starmer recalls being encouraged to hide her pregnancy by an old boss because they deemed showing a bump too early risky in the company’s culture. You won’t find that culture at Lions & Tigers.

“As a team of three mother executives,” says Starmer, “We knew that balancing business performance with the human experience was both the right thing to do and the right thing for the business.” She laid the foundation for her firm during her second pregnancy. Her mission, says Starmer, was to turn the table on traditional consulting, where fresh college graduates work long hours under the guidance of a senior leader.

Instead, Starmer built a team model where experienced industry leaders work part time to consult with and guide a client’s staff. The Lions & Tigers model has attracted professionals like Brenda Fisher, a former senior product manager at Amazon. Before working with Starmer, Fisher was on the verge of dropping out of the workforce in order to be more present for her adopted son.

“I found Brenda to be one of the smartest business strategists I’d met,” says Starmer. With Lions & Tigers, Fisher was able to scale back from full-time work. Fisher says the company’s model lets her show up as a parent: “I didn’t know I could have both my work and my family.” Starmer’s flexible work philosophy proved itself at both the competitive and personal levels in the months that followed the birth of her second child.

It was then that Lions & Tigers pitched against big agencies to win its first million dollar contract (with Microsoft). “We were more agile. We were faster,” says Starmer, who crafted the proposal with her team while nursing a newborn. “We came up with a better solution.

Read more

Act II: Dads make a career changes after parenthood, too | Fourteen years ago, Nick Nordberg’s circumstances would have been the makings of a mid-life crisis. Instead of letting his situation weigh him down, Nordberg, a Puyallup resident, turned his circumstances into a mid-life opportunity.

Act II: How a newspaper reporter became a birth worker | In walking away from daily news, reporter Cheryl Murfin walked right into an identity crisis. She needed a new work identity, one aligned with her newish motherform. Strangely, she found it in the birth experience itself.

Act II: From cosmetics to the classroom | Having a child with autism, changed Alexis White’s trajectory. She decided in 2022 that she needed to expand her teaching skills by making a career switch. Today she’s doing just that as an instructional assistant at Stevens Elementary in Seattle.

The post From Layoff to CEO: How Brea Starmer created a flexible workforce for parents appeared first on Seattle's Child.

I met my husband over a dead body.

I mean that literally. We were both newspaper reporters at the time, covering a body discovered in an abandoned minivan. It was my first day in his newsroom and we hadn’t yet met when two different editors sent us to the same story. Standing on the railroad tracks above the minivan, I did my best to block his view and sabotage his reporting. I was all about the scoop back then. Ultimately, the editors discovered their error and made us write the piece together. The rest, as they say, is history. I loved living on the edge of a breaking story, writing about serial killers, hanging out with detectives in seedy bars, and making midnight calls to police stations and county medical investigators in search of news. Being a reporter was who I was. It was my identity, full stop.

Then, in the most significant news scoop of my life, my daughter was born. The minute she was published, I went from being a New York Times writer wannabe to being MADDY’S MOM. Less than a month later, afraid to bring home the energy of the gruesome news to my sweet baby, I put in my notice and walked out of daily journalism forever.

Let me be clear: being Maddy’s mom was wonderful (and it still is 30 years later). But in walking away from daily news I walked right into an identity crisis. By the time my second child was two years old, it was clear that I not only needed to return to work but I also needed a new work identity, one aligned with my newish motherform.

Strangely, I found it in the birth experience itself. I say strangely because before I got pregnant, I thought midwifery was a relic of medieval times, and a doula sounded like what a dog did on the grass. But then I met a midwife and a doula. The physical and emotional care they provided before, during, and after my kids’ births was so profound I found myself returning again and again to ask,

“Could I do that?”

It turned out I could. I took the first steps and trained and certified as a doula. It felt right, so I continued my training and built a practice, starting slow and widening as my kids became more independent. I’ve continued learning: I can say without any doubt that every one of the more than 2,000 families I’ve worked with has taught me something important, not just medically, but about love, commitment, and the strength of the human spirit.

I view the two years I spent caring for young children at home as a doorway from one passion to another. It was in that space that I asked myself important new questions: Not what am I good at, but what am I passionate about? Do I have the interest, discipline, and family support to try something new? Is there a way to continue the part of the old work that I loved (writing) within a new career? Who do I want to be for myself and my children? Will changing careers get me closer to that person? How will this new work fit into family relationships and obligations?

Changing careers takes work and determination. Being self-employed takes focus, structure, and a commitment to finding a work-life balance. It also took some negotiation — my husband had to be willing to care for kids when a birth took me out of the house for a day or three. Birthworkers are on call 24/7, and most long-term doulas and midwives miss birthdays and holidays that their families wish they wouldn’t miss.

Still, few people can look back on their work and see a town of faces looking back at them. I take a lot of pride in that. Over the years, new moms have asked me about changing careers after a child arrives. “Should I? Can I?” they ask. I am a cheerleader. I encourage young parents, especially those who stay home for some time, to use time with their young family to dream for themselves. No idea is too big or too small. You don’t have to make a change all at once. There is a way.

Not long ago, I retired from the birthing room. You could say I have returned to my first career path while remaining connected to the last. As the managing editor of Seattle’s Child magazine, I am still learning from parents. As a writing workshop leader I am indulging my interests in travel and building community. Just as I was with those old detectives and in the newsroom, I am living my passions.

Read more

Act II: Dads make a career changes after parenthood, too | Fourteen years ago, Nick Nordberg’s circumstances would have been the makings of a mid-life crisis. Instead of letting his situation weigh him down, Nordberg, a Puyallup resident, turned his circumstances into a mid-life opportunity.

Act II: Flexing at Lions and Tigers | After giving birth to her son, Brea Starmer wanted to work at a different pace even as she craved the challenging, high-level projects that had built her consulting career. Her career change after motherhood means she’s CEO of Lions & Tigers, a flexible consulting firm offering high-level expertise with part-time, remote work for parents.

Act II: From cosmetics to the classroom | Having a child with autism, changed Alexis White’s trajectory. She decided in 2022 that she needed to expand her teaching skills by making a career change after motherhood. Today she’s doing just that as an instructional assistant at Stevens Elementary in Seattle.

The post From Reporter to Doula: How motherhood birthed a new career appeared first on Seattle's Child.

Fourteen years ago, Nick Nordberg’s circumstances would have been the makings of a mid-life crisis.

His then-wife had given birth to twins at 24 weeks, one of whom had spina bifida and required extensive in-home care. Shortly after, the couple filed for divorce, making Nordberg a single parent. Instead of letting his situation weigh him down, Nordberg, a Puyallup resident, turned his circumstances into a mid-life opportunity.

At the time, he was a business analyst, but found himself struggling to stay invested in his work. “I’m trying to manage projects and build systems and make processes better for people, and at home I’m dealing with a lot more difficulty,” Nordberg says of that experience.

He was also undergoing counseling and realized, as a client, that he was drawn to the mental health profession. He thought: “I’d like to do something with this — not just get help for myself, but turn that around and help people, whether it’s in a similar situation or something different, to be able to draw upon my own trauma, make sense of it, and help other people.”

In 2014, Norberg quit his job at T-Mobile and enrolled full-time at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology to become a therapist. He described the experience as an intense but healing “boot camp” of unpacking his personal origin story to understand how to do therapy. While attending school, he relied on savings and student loans, but also worked as a Starbucks barista to supplement his income.

“[Switching careers] was a bit of an impetuous decision in some regards,” Nordberg says. He found himself repeatedly engaging in conversations that highlighted his passion for the mental health profession, viewing them as signs to make a drastic change. He told himself, “I have to find out if this is going to work, otherwise it’s going to drive me crazy not knowing what could have been.”

After graduating in 2018, he became a full-time therapist for various mental healthcare providers, finding a niche with clients — men, in particular — facing mid-career changes or significant life transitions, as well as late teens and young adults. That same year, his son passed away. That personal loss and his experience in the tech field and corporate world has allowed a stronger connection with clients with similar backgrounds.

In early December 2024, he started a new job as a therapist for students at Walker High School in Puyallup, while still seeing private clients on the side. He says his work also touches his 14-year-old daughter’s school experience. Born with Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP), she is legally blind.

“While she navigates her world well, it is a loss that she feels and she knows it makes her experience in the world different from other children,” Norberg says. “Being a therapist has helped me to sit with her in that grief and helped her to advocate for herself.”

Nordberg acknowledged that he would be much further along professionally had he pursued being a therapist from the start, but he doesn’t have regrets. Today he and his daughter are creating a blended family with Norberg’s girlfriend and her two children.

“I think of how your life is like a tapestry; there are different threads, and you can’t really pull one of them because they’re all part of what shaped you,” Nordberg says. “They’re all part of what got you to where you are today.”

In grad school, Nordberg read a quote by psychologist Carl Jung that he often shares with clients, both parents and teens: “The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents.”

“For me, I think this encapsulates how becoming a parent changed my career trajectory,” Nordberg says, adding that his work as a therapist gives him more flexibility to accommodate his daughter’s school schedule and navigate her changing needs.

“It has given me insight into child development and understanding how our family story has impacted my own child,” Norberg says. “If I want to raise children that fulfill their potential, I have to first model that for them.

Read More

Act II: Flexing at Lions and Tigers | After giving birth to her son, Brea Starmer wanted to work at a different pace even as she craved the challenging, high-level projects that had built her consulting career. Now she’s CEO of Lions & Tigers, a flexible consulting firm offering high-level expertise with part-time, remote work for parents.

Act II: From cosmetics to the classroom | Having a child with autism, changed Alexis White’s trajectory. She decided in 2022 that she needed to expand her teaching skills by making a career switch. Today she’s doing just that as an instructional assistant at Stevens Elementary in Seattle.

Act II: How a newspaper reporter became a birth worker | In walking away from daily news, reporter Cheryl Murfin walked right into an identity crisis. She needed a new work identity, one aligned with her newish motherform. Strangely, she found it in the birth experience itself.

The post From Analyst to Therapist: How fatherhood inspired a life-changing shift appeared first on Seattle's Child.

She’s executive director of Dress for Success Seattle, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting women toward sustainable economic independence.
The organization provides everything from education to outfits for job interviews.

“What makes Dress for Success Seattle unique is that we provide a safe space for women, wherever they might be in their professional, personal, and economic journeys,” says Razzaia. The organization helps between 500 and 1,000 women in King County leap into the workforce or transition to new work.

Razzaia also knows a lot about the barriers women face. Moms, she notes, are disproportionately expected to carry the burden of caring for their families, and many leave the workforce due to the stress and cost of child care. Women also continue to face pay inequity compared with men. In a recent review of pay parity across the United States, Washington ranked bottom. The state was “the second worst in the entire nation for parity,” says Razzaia. “We edge out only Utah.”

Dress for Success aims to help women navigate such challenges.

“Our mission is to support women who are unemployed or underemployed,” Razzaia says. She adds that the group meets its mission by asking questions like “How do we set a woman up for financial success in the long term? And not just herself, but her family, her kids.”

From there, Dress for Success provides women with educational workshops, career coaching, mentoring, professional attire, and more. Financial education is another critical part of the support pie.

“The reality is that sustainability is what is going to lead women to pay parity,” says Razzaia. “It’s what is going to lead society to a shift in this belief that women are solely responsible for child-rearing. It is what’s going to change the world.

Read more

Act II: From cosmetics to the classroom | Having a child with autism, changed Alexis White’s trajectory. She decided in 2022 that she needed to expand her teaching skills and make a career change after motherhood. Today she’s doing just that as an instructional assistant at Stevens Elementary in Seattle.

The post Dress for Success: Getting Seattle women suited for new careers appeared first on Seattle's Child.

The Couth Buzzard

When Hilary and Tallis Moore were expecting their son, Stan, they asked themselves, “What are the things that are most important to us that we want in this kid’s life?’

“At the top of the list was community,” says Hilary. Music, food, and books filled out the list. When they learned The Couth Buzzard bookstore and cafe was for sale, the Moores couldn’t believe their luck: A place of gathering, entertainment, and, of course, books and food for more than 30 years, the laid back Couth Buzzard is a Greenwood institution. It’s a place where families gather, Girl Scout troops meet, and percussionists (and a lot of other musical groups) play. The bookstore’s calendar is packed with events for all ages. 

The Moores did minor renovations last summer, creating a more open space where entertainers playing at the back can be seen and heard from the storefront. They also reoriented the children’s book area so that kids can cuddle up with books within eyesight of parents sipping coffee at the cafe counter. 

“As new parents ourselves, we designed the space as a place […] where if a toddler wants to join a percussion circle, they are welcomed by the whole group enthusiastically, and if a 70-year-old wants to be a part of kid’s story time, or even be a special guest musician or storyteller, they get to,” Hilary said. “That’s part of the magic Tallis and I were drawn towards.”

The couple is also committed to supporting the community. The cafe has a pay-what-you-can policy for a small coffee, tea, or day-old pastries. “We want to be a space where everybody feels really welcome, no matter what their economic situation is,” said Hilary. 

• Don’t miss: Kid’s storytime each Saturday at 10 a.m. 
• Unique: There’s never a charge for a group to meet here. Moms’ circle meet-up, anyone? Nearly 90 percent of the store’s book stock is used, which is a plus for the family budget.

Ada’s Technical Books and Cafe

Don’t be scared away by the name. Ada’s is a store where kids (and adults) can explore the wide world of DIY and skill-building and connect with some incredible women of technology (not the least of whom is Ada Lovelace, co-creator of the first computer and the shop’s namesake). 

A warm, cozy chair sits by the fireplace as chill music fills the air. Next to the chair, the kids’ book corner offers up books for learning new skills, captivating biographies about important people in STEM history, puzzles, games, and early DIY electronics for kids. Beyond acknowledging women pioneers, store staff say the shelves in the kids’ corner are committed to racial equity and progressive ideas. Right in the middle of all that recognition sits Ada’s cafe, with sumptuous baked goods and tasty vegetarian fare. 

• Don’t miss: Watch Ada’s event page for the kids’ Social Justice Storytime, which will return soon.
• Unique: Check out Ada’s Introduction to D&D game night for middle and high schoolers. 

Ada’s Technical Books (Image: Felix Tran)

Third Place Books 

It’s right there in the name. Each of the three stores has a well-stocked kids’ section and employees ready and eager with recommendations. They offer new and used books, host community events, and, while they don’t have cafes inside the bookstore, each partners with an adjacent eatery within the building, all of which offer an abundance of items kids will love: Baked goods? Honey Bear Bakery at the Lake Forest Park Third Place. Burger? Chuck’s Hop Shop at the Seward Park location. Mediterranean fare? Cafe Arta at the Ravenna location.

• Don’t miss: Check out the kid events page to learn about a range of happenings.
• Unique: Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park was one of the first bookstores designed to be a “community hub.”

(Image: Third Place Books)

Elliott Bay Book Company

Let’s just call it the mothership that it is. It makes sense that Elliott Bay Book Company’s kids’ area is centered around a large wooden boat that little ones like to climb on and cuddle down in with a book. In 2024, Elliott Bay on Capitol Hill celebrated 50 years of connecting people to books. The Little Oddfellows cafe is just three bookshelves away and a great place to gather around a table and read, play games, or chill. 

• Don’t miss: Check out the kid events page.
• Unique: Both Salt & Straw and Molly Moon’s ice cream shops are within walking distance.

(Image: Elliott Bay Book Company)

⁠No in-store cafes, but family favorites with food very nearby:

Queen Anne Book Company 

It has a small but well-curated kids’ section. Walk your finds out of the shop and right into Queen Anne Coffee Co. or next door to Moonrise Bakery, a great books-and-bites outing. 

(Image: Queen Anne Book Company)

Island Books

Talk about an extensive children’s book collection. Don’t miss Singing and Stories with Nancy Stewart on Saturdays at 9:30 a.m., then drop in next door for something tasty at Homegrown.

(Image: Island Books)

Read more:

Best books of 2024 from KCLS

The Couth Buzzard amps up ‘family friendly’

Read! Go! 27 wonderful children’s books and outings to go with them

The post 6 kid-friendly bookstores in the Seattle area appeared first on Seattle's Child.

“The rent was unstable. We could never save money,” says Tesfaye, who immigrated with his wife from Ethiopia to Washington in 2003. (Families requested first names be used for this article to protect their privacy.)

During a recent virtual interview, Tesfaye’s son Michael was getting ready for soccer practice as daughter Tsion chatted excitedly about the Running Start nursing program at North Creek High School. Yemata was at work, but tinsel Christmas decorations gleamed in the background. Daughter Beamlak, Tesfaye proudly notes, attends college at the University of Southern California.

In other words, the scene was that of a thriving, happy family.

The house has three bedrooms, a yard, and a community. They love their home, Tesfaye says, and more importantly they aren’t constantly worrying about their home.

Thanks to Habitat for Humanity’s Homeownership program, they’ll never have to worry about rent again.

Habitat Homeownership  Helps Families — and Society

Habitat for Humanity Seattle-King/Kittitas County has helped more than 2,600 people in the region find safe, stable housing. They offer several ways to help people find, buy, and stay in their homes, a desperately needed service during an unprecedented housing crisis.

Right now, with mortgage rates hovering around 6-8% and the average home price in King County a whopping $800,000, homeownership can feel like a pipe dream for working class families. Meanwhile, rent is so expensive it’s hard to save for a down payment. Even as the national rental market cooled, Seattle’s average rent increased. It currently costs around $2,700 per month for a two-bedroom apartment in the city.

Residential stability is important for a healthy society. When rents are high and homeownership is difficult to attain, cities begin to experience frequent turnover, or churn, particularly in low-income neighborhoods.

Even long-time Seattle residents feel the squeeze. Today Scott G. owns a Habitat home in Highland Terrace, but says, “In the past, my average airline industry income made living in Seattle productive and comfortable. [But] as local housing costs soared, I found myself completely priced out of ‘my’ city — my home of the last 35 years. It felt like we were drowning.”

Stable housing is crucial for children’s development as well. Research shows housing instability negatively affects children’s physical, mental, and social-emotional health. Families who are forced to move frequently become stressed. They can lose access to social services, and their kids can have trouble making friends at school.

How Habitat Homeownership Works

The Habitat Homeownership program works like this: prospective homebuyers must earn 80% or less than the median income for the area. In King County, for example, the maximum income for applicants is about $110,000 per year for a family of four, including all household income. Homebuyers must be able to pay the mortgage, connect with the community (either by residing or working in the community), and partner with Habitat through volunteer work.

Once accepted, Habitat representatives work with lenders approved by the Washington State Housing Finance Commission to provide homebuyers with an affordable mortgage. The commission offers several programs to help low-income families purchase homes.

If the Habitat homebuyer can’t secure a mortgage for the full price of the home, Habitat finances the remainder. The homebuyer can work at a Habitat building site or in one of Habitat’s three Habitat for Humanity Stores.

Tesfaye applied to the program three times before he was accepted for a home in Bothell.

“The process is not easy. There is a lot of paperwork,” he says. Tesfaye worked in the Habitat for Humanity Store toward fulfillment of his Habitat partnership.

Other Habitat buyers have enjoyed learning practical construction skills: Sam M., who recently moved with her daughter to a Habitat home in South Park, says “I learned so many skills building the homes. I had never used a chop saw in my life and now I could do that!”

The Intangibles

When Habitat SKKC surveyed its homeowners, they reported significant long-term improvement in categories like health, school, careers, financial security, safety, and overall quality of life.

Respondents — 99% of them — reported increased emotional health and happiness.

Ten years on, Tesfaye and his family are flourishing in Holly Hills.

“Bothell is quiet, safe, a great place to raise kids, and the schools are great,” Tesfaye says. “When I lived in an apartment, there was no money left over. Now I can afford to pay for some things for my daughter because I save some money. It is very important for me to have this Habitat house,” says Tesfaye.

“I know it sounds corny,” Scott says. “Habitat felt like it was pulling us up into a lifeboat of possibility.” 

Read more:

Books and Bites

Act II: Changing careers after motherhood

A place in history: New Year’s Babies 2025

The post Habitat for Humanity program makes homeownership more attainable appeared first on Seattle's Child.

Alexis White has always considered herself a teacher. She’s just done her teaching under the guise of other titles, starting with babysitter, then moving into retail, and on to cosmetics. Three years ago, this Seattle-based mom was matching customers with the right makeup colors and teaching them to master their eyeliner technique. Having a child with autism, however, changed White’s trajectory. She decided in 2022 that she needed to expand her teaching skills by making a career switch. Today she’s doing just that as an instructional assistant at Stevens Elementary in Seattle.

A young start

A passion for all things beauty and body products and teenage persistence turned into her first job, as a stocker at The Body Shop. Her manager was so impressed by her customer service on the first day, she told White: “Take the apron off and go in the front of the store.”

Eventually White landed at Sephora, and received rigorous training in color theory, skin types, hygiene, and proper sanitation. That professional development made White a leader in discussions around new products, common store issues, and problem solving.

Catalyst for change

In 2019, White’s 3-year-old son, Francis, was diagnosed with autism. When Francis started school at Stevens, White began volunteering there and later applied for a receptionist job. She didn’t get that job, but the principal offered her work assisting teachers with kids during recess and lunch. She was able to work where Francis was in school, and began “raising her hand” for other opportunities as well.

“I just became the ‘every’ woman,” White says. “I did web training, so I started doing the school website. When someone would ask for something, I could do it or ask for help if I didn’t know how to do it.”

From recess to classroom

White applied to become an instructional assistant. In that position, she provides help with classroom management, offering students social and emotional support and giving them tools to positively process their feelings. In many ways, White finds classroom principles similar to her cosmetics work, as she empowers students with knowledge and gives them tools to feel good about themselves. Also, in the same way that White collaborated with her Sephora colleagues, she now partners with teachers and students.

She says her work is all about “having those fluid conversations that are ongoing to build genuine relationships.” As with her prior job, she has to be adept at recognizing why something is or isn’t working. “I think that limiting your learning to receiving only from grownups is dangerous,” White says. “I learn from my students every day.”

The impact on her parenting

Being an instructional assistant has changed the way White engages with Francis. She is more intentional about their time together and more mindful in the way she speaks to him. White says it’s hard to see some of the disrespectful ways adults speak to kids. She wants to reassure her own child, “I don’t ever want to be the person who does that to you or makes you feel that way.”

Looking forward White hopes that the next stage in her career includes acceptance into Seattle Public Schools’ Academy for Rising Educators.The program is a collaboration between SPS and the City of Seattle’s Department of Education and Early Learning and offers a pathway for educators of color. White was not accepted into the program’s upcoming cohort, but she remains determined to make the ‘teacher’ title official. “It’s not a denial,” she says. “It’s a delay. To me it means something big is coming down the pike.

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The post From Cosmetics to Classrooms: One mom’s inspiring career change appeared first on Seattle's Child.

When Jones started her own design firm, she discovered she could set flexible hours, earn more than she ever had before, and raise a family on her own terms. So she reached out to mother-entrepreneurs across the country to share their stories and advice for “anyone seeking inspiration as they forge a new path or career for themselves.”

Like Jones, many work in creative fields — food, fashion, interior design — but the book doesn’t lack diverse examples, featuring an immigration lawyer, a gun safety advocate, a midwife, and Seattle’s own Arianne Foulks, the founder of website design and development firm Aeolidia.

The women explain the nitty-gritty of how they built their businesses, opening up about everything from time management, choosing clients, their personal definitions of success, and how they prioritize family time. Most impactful are Jones’ personal essays, where she is startlingly honest about her challenges: burning bridges due to disorganization, failing to ask critical questions that affected her ability to deliver, forgetting to put aside money for taxes.

Her writing is compelling, shared from a place of generosity and wisdom. She demonstrates that relationships can be repaired, taxes paid, lessons learned, and above all, that women can build businesses and raise families with joyful confidence.

Read more

From Tech to Adaptive Fashion: A bold career shift after motherhood | JuneApative.com connects people with disabilities with comfortable, easy-to-don threads.

From Reporter to Doula: How motherhood birthed a new career | “I went from New York Times writer wannabe to Maddy’s Mom.”

From Layoff to CEO: How Brea Starmer created a flexible workforce for parents | It’s a workplace, that works for parents.

The post ‘Mother/Founder’: Stories of women balancing business and family appeared first on Seattle's Child.

I know they meant well. They wanted me to master my emotions, just as they had. And I did — kind of. I was still quick to flood with emotion, but I learned to squelch the tears. As an adult, I didn’t cry again until my mid forties, when my marriage fell apart, and then I couldn’t stop for weeks. Since then, I cry a little occasionally, but it’s not easy. It’s a skill I unlearned really well.

The poet and essayist Ross Gay has written several books about finding and capturing joy and delight in our everyday lives. But long before he was a sensitive, thoughtful writer, he was a competitive athlete. He grew up playing football and basketball all through school, and went on to play in college. Recently, I heard him talk about something that happened to him in high school.

He recounted being on the receiving end of a football coach’s angry tirade. Unsurprisingly, it was laced with insults that questioned his masculinity, meant to shame and humiliate him. They did the job — those words etched themselves into his memory.

Years later, he told this story to his wife, and reflected that the worst part about it was that he couldn’t get any support, because he couldn’t tell anyone what happened. 

Why not, she asked. Because if he had, he would have cried. And what would have happened if he had cried? Then he would have had to kill everything and everyone around him who had witnessed it. 

I believe him — not that he would have done it, but that he would have felt as if he had to. I believe him because everyday there are boys and men who feel that same rage and shame, and then do the unspeakable. Just pick up the newspaper — it’s plastered all over the front page.  

Margaret Atwood once wrote that, “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”  What we often forget is that the two fears are connected. By indoctrinating boys into a version of masculinity that defines vulnerability as weakness, we do them a double disservice. First we force them into a state of wounded shame. Then we leave them no outlet for that shame other than dominance and aggression.

There’s only one way out of this mess. We have to redefine masculinity in a way that includes, and even celebrates, vulnerability. By vulnerability, I mean the courage to admit and accept our flaws, and to ask for help. We have to teach our boys that this is not weakness — it’s strength.

There’s plenty of data to back that up. People who are willing and able to show vulnerability are much more likely to make intimate connections. They make better, more respected leaders. They report higher levels of happiness, health, and financial success. If you want to see your kids have fulfilling lives, one of the biggest gifts you can give them is a comfort with vulnerability.

Of course, all of this is much easier said than done. Right now, we are seeing a convulsive backlash against the redefinition of gender roles, and it’s playing out publicly on a national scale. All around us, men in prominent positions are proffering a version of manhood based on unchecked dominance and aggression. 

Right after the election, the white supremacist Nick Fuentes gleefully tweeted the message: “Your body. My choice. Forever.”  In the following days, it was reposted 35,000 times, and viewed by more than 90 million people. Since then, there have been reports of boys chanting the slogan at girls in the halls of their schools.

It’s easy to dismiss them as stupid kids who don’t know any better. Oh well, boys will be boys. But sometimes, with the right mix of goading, shame, and tacit approval, boys become the Hitler Youth, or the Khmer Rouge. 

It’s horrifying, but we can’t afford for it to be debilitating. If anything, we need to stiffen our spines and redouble our efforts. We need to create as many spaces as possible where our boys feel safe to be flawed, uncertain, emotional human beings. We need to look out for our own casual, inadvertent messages about masculine strength and weakness. We need to be better.

Sometimes resistance looks like people marching in the streets. But this time, it also looks like a boy being gently comforted when he’s crying, hurt, or afraid. 

Let’s do this. Let the resistance begin. 

Read more:

Dad Next Door archives

Dad Next Door: The Monster in the Basement

Dad Next Door: Artificial Unintelligence

Dad Next Door: Leader of the pack

Dad Next Door: The devil wears tiny high heels

The post Dad Next Door: The boys aren’t alright appeared first on Seattle's Child.

Here in America, the broader narrative about careers post-motherhood focuses on the many policy shortcomings in politics and workplaces, as well as social norms which limit opportunities for women, families, and communities. But, I’ve been wondering, could there be more to the story, as Brown suggests?

A time of change and creativity

“There’s this term called matrescence,” says Seattle therapist Elizabeth Moore Simpson as she describes the physical, psychological, and emotional changes that characterize motherhood. “We refer to it as the mom equivalent of puberty. It accompanies a huge overhaul of one’s identity.” Simpson is Perinatal Support Washington’s Parental Resilience Program Manager.

This overhaul is built into women’s biology. Elseline Hoekzema, a Dutch neuroscientist, found that early motherhood is a time of enormous neuroplasticity. The brain’s synapses reorder before and after giving birth to allow women to work with better efficiency, bond with their babies, and, crucially, transform their identities. The part of a woman’s brain that understands her sense of self is altered, so that a mother’s “self” expands to include her child. Might this time flexing a mother’s understanding of self also be a prime moment for broader reinvention? Not only in a woman’s family, but also in her work outside the home?

Anecdotally, we see evidence of life-changing, post-kids career shifts all around us. Patty Murray was a former preschool teacher and stay-at-home mom before she ran for public office, a career move that eventually led her to the U.S. Senate where she is now serving in her sixth term. And Ann Bergman, Seattle’s Child publisher, learned first-hand about a need for more information about local family activities and resources in Seattle after she became a parent. She founded the magazine in response to that problem.

If you are ready for a career change post motherhood; ready to write a “second act” in your career, local experts have some helpful guidance.

Know your ‘Why’

“Priorities, priorities, priorities.”

This is what Lora Poepping, recruiter, HR consultant, and president of Seattle’s Plum Coaching and Consulting, hears from clients pursuing a career pivot. Some want work that offers more flexibility or creates more financial security. Others found that having children was such a transformative experience that they wanted to pursue work that more closely aligned with their new values.

Seattle’s Karen Hui-Saechao, career coach and founder of Made for More Coaching, has worked with women emerging from domestic violence or with limited education, and has seen successful careers forged when clients get clear on the reasons behind wanting to make a change.

“Because once we’re able to name these whys and these purposes, then there’s more of a motivation to do the work that’s needed to get you there.”

Keep your knife sharp

Poepping stresses that it’s important to learn about trends and invest in skills specific to the industries or functions that you’re interested in.

“Parents will take time off. They do an amazing job taking leadership roles in school, volunteering in the community,” she says. “Unfortunately, they may not carry the same weight in terms of their value. In this crowded job market, employers look for professional work experience that is specific to the role they want to fill.”

In terms of practical advice, Hui-Saechao suggests, “Keep up with the work industry of interest, hiring trends, the technology, and keep your LinkedIn updated.” She also suggests taking advantage of free or low-cost continuing education websites like LinkedIn Learning, Udemy, Coursera, and YouTube.

Talk to someone who has the job you want

“People will say to me, ‘Since I raised a lot of money for my school, I think I want to be in fundraising,’” says Poepping. Yet, she says, they haven’t ever spoken to anyone who actually works in development.

Years ago, I thought I’d found my dream job in youth services at a public library. After having kids, I thought working in a school library might better fit my family’s schedule. So I asked to chat with the librarian at my son’s school, only to discover that the job was less like being a librarian in a school (my assumption), and more like being a teacher in a library (not for me!). That information was priceless, and I got it by speaking to a professional in the field.

Cultivate your community

You might be thinking, but I don’t know anyone to talk to. You’re not alone. Poepping once had a client who said, “‘I’ve stayed home with my kids. I have zero network.’”

Poepping responded, “Do you go to soccer?” She pointed out that the moms and dads waiting on the sidelines have careers, interests, and know other professionals. And, says Poepping, never underestimate how willing people are to help.

“They want to support you!” But, says Poepping, there is a right way to ask.

Don’t sell yourself

There’s also a wrong way. For example, the only time I’ve ever been ignored when trying to collect about career information was when I started an email request describing my work experience and what I wanted. That was the wrong approach.

Instead, Poepping encourages job seekers to adopt a listen first mindset. Demonstrate curiosity, ask for their insights about the future of a certain industry or role, pose good questions. Then, you’ll find that your connections will likely be curious about you and ask for details about your job search.

Once people feel they have been given an opportunity to share their story, that allows them to hear yours. “What’s so great about listening is they’ve already told you what’s important to them,” says Poepping. So when it’s your turn to speak, you’re in a position to share how you’ve solved similar problems, or handled specifics related to the topics they’ve covered.”

Read More: People who’ve made the jump

From cosmetics to the classroom | Three years ago, this Seattle-based mom was matching customers with the right makeup colors and teaching them to master their eyeliner technique. Having a child with autism, however, changed White’s trajectory. She decided in 2022 that she needed a career change post motherhood. Today she’s doing just that as an instructional assistant at Stevens Elementary in Seattle.

Flexing at Lions and Tigers | After giving birth to her son, Brea Starmer wanted to work at a different pace even as she craved the challenging, high-level projects that had built her consulting career. So she hired a part-time nanny and signed a part-time consulting contract rather than return to full-time work. Her career change post motherhood led to being the CEO of Lions & Tigers, a flexible consulting firm offering high-level expertise with part-time, remote work for parents.

Dads make career changes, too | Fourteen years ago, Nick Nordberg’s circumstances would have been the makings of a mid-life crisis. His then-wife had given birth to twins at 24 weeks, one of whom had spina bifida and required extensive in-home care. Shortly after, the couple filed for divorce, making Nordberg a single parent. Instead of letting his situation weigh him down, Nordberg, a Puyallup resident, turned his circumstances into a mid-life opportunity.

From reporter to birth worker | In walking away from daily news, reporter Cheryl Murfin walked right into an identity crisis. By the time her second child was two years old, it was clear that she not only needed to return to work but she also needed a new work identity, one aligned with her newish motherform. Strangely, she found a career change post-motherhood in the birth experience itself.

Redefining her path | Wendy Wong’s big career change was actually before, not after, motherhood. In the months leading up to the birth of her first child, Wong started working full-time on JuneAdaptive.com, a clothing business connecting people with disabilities with comfortable, easy-to-don threads.

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